A Win for Everyone: Collaborating with Your Child’s Teacher

Seeing children learn, grow, and be happy at school is everyone’s goal. This feels especially urgent when we think about children with disabilities, because their needs are often complex and supporting growth can be challenging at both home and school. Parents are especially aware of their child’s vulnerability, and often feel pressure to help them grow as quickly as possible.

Communication between home and school begins when children transition into a new school. There are many strategies that can prepare children (and schools) for a successful school year. Examples include:

• coming in early to meet the teacher and see the space
• writing social stories for children about where they will go and what to expect
• making sure the teacher knows about the child’s strengths and support needs
• knowing rights and responsibilities in inclusive education

Parents, children, and schools are a team, particularly when the child needs extra support. Parents must work closely with educational staff to make the most of what school has to offer.

Sometimes teamwork is difficult, but establishing a respectful relationship and plans for clear communication from the beginning can help.

Help the Teacher to Build a Relationship with Your Child

It’s important to remember that your child’s teacher is the leader in your child’s learning. An educational assistant may be providing day to day direct support, but it is really important that the teacher is the person who knows what your child needs as a learner. They are responsible for each student’s wellbeing and educational planning. They know what the whole class is doing and can make sure your child is included.

If your child has a direct relationship with the teacher, they will have a better program and more connections to what the whole class is learning. It will also allow your child to build relationships with more people.

To encourage this relationship, communicate with the teacher yourself. It may be productive to talk to the EA or resource teacher as well, but make sure to build a collaborative and supportive relationship with your child’s teacher. It’s worth it.

Communicate Regularly with the Teacher

Relationships are built through communication. For our children’s needs to be met, we need to communicate with their teacher regularly.

Timing

First, find out the best time for communication.

Teachers are busy, but most want to be as helpful as they can, and they will appreciate the opportunity to address  your questions or concerns.

Make sure there are planned meetings to discuss your child’s programming. Consider scheduling regular meetings (such as the same day each month) or setting a date for the next meeting at the end of each one. 

Find out what policy the school has for parent-staff communication.

Format

Also, consider whether written or face-to-face communication is better. 

Face-to-face communication can make it easier to avoid misunderstandings. 

Written communication can be logistically easier and allows you to clearly lay out your questions. It is common for teachers and parents to set up a home-school communication book so that notes can go back and forth.

It is likely that you will want a combination of both written and in-person communication.

Information About Autism and Your Child

To start off the year, make sure your child’s teacher has good information about autism in general and about your child.

To provide helpful information about autism, consider giving them a copy of Paula Kluth’s “You’re Going To Love This Kid” for them to read.

Share your child’s strengths and interests (what is your child good at? What do they enjoy? What is interesting to them?), as well as any strategies that help them feel comfortable and learn. This could be shared in a chart or letter. Ask how your child’s strengths will be developed, and how weaknesses will be compensated for and/or strengthened.

Respect the Teacher’s Expertise

No two teachers are the same. Each teacher can use their unique skills, experiences, and personality to help new areas of growth emerge under the guidance of a new teacher’s unique skills, experiences and personality. A teacher who has been working for three years may be more enthusiastic and energized, and a teacher who has been working for 20 years may have a rich source of wisdom from their experiences. Everyone has something to offer.

Some teachers have more background and training for including children who learn differently. If they don’t know about something, they are likely willing to learn. If you need to provide them with any information, be patient as they learn to adapt their teaching style.

If something isn’t going well, start by finding something you agree about. If something isn’t working, find out the reason behind it. There may be another way to address the problem.

Share Your Appreciation

It’s important to recognize that we are never going to see everything go exactly as we want it to – every person and every school has limitations. The most important thing you can do to build a good relationship with your child’s teacher is give them positive feedback for what they’re doing well.

Few people respond well to criticism without appreciation. Each teacher has unique gifts and strengths to offer their class. Look for them, and thank your child’s teacher for them. Support them in any way that seems useful and encouraging.

Be willing to listen to them like you want them to listen to you. Do your best to make their work easier.

Ultimately, your child’s teacher is investing their life in the growth of your child and your child’s classmates, and that is worth appreciating.

May your child’s school year be one of growth for everyone…in knowledge, and in collaboration and in friendship.