DIR Capacity 2: Engaging and Relating

This post is part of a series, taking a quick look at each developmental capacities, according to the work of Stanley Greenspan and Serena Wieder in their DIR/Floortime framework. As a child grows, they add new skills to what they learned in the previous capacities.

Is it hard for your child to do an activity with you?

When we meet autistic children, we often observe that we have difficulty keeping their attention. It might seem hard for them to stay focused on an activity for more than a few minutes. Some parents describe their children as “flitting” from object to object – they don’t stick with ideas or activities. On the other hand, sometimes their attention is focused on things we find unimportant or seemingly purposeless. It’s hard to feel connected with a child who is doing this.

Before playing and learning with others is possible, a child has to be able to pay attention to what someone else is doing or saying. When they are engaged and voluntarily participating in a shared activity, new brain connections are formed and learning occurs.

Normally, this process of connecting through shared attention and activity starts when our children are babies. But with autism, this infant-caregiver feedback system might be different, possibly because of differences in the way the baby’s sensory system works.

The good news is that children can learn to observe and do things together when a child’s family and caregivers use strategies to help them focus their attention in ways that are fun and respect the child’s needs. Once we understand our child’s sensory profile, and are able to help him or her remain calm and alert, we can naturally work on Capacity 2 of DIR/Floortime, which is all about building relationships.

When they are beginning to regulate their emotions and are ready to explore what is going on around them, a child experiences meaningful and enjoyable connections with other people, begins to observe and imitate others (also referred to as joint attention), and broadens the range of emotions they can express and identify (anger, curiosity, excitement).

Strategies

Helping your child build this capacity takes a lot of trial and error, because you are showing your child that playing together can be fun. Until they feel it, most of the initiative will come from you. Some things you try will work, many won’t. But according to Stanley Greenspan, the worst thing you can do is quit. You will need to keep coming back to your child, with an awareness of the moments of when they are most ready to engage with you.

Make yourself inviting by observing and joining in what your child is paying attention to. Observe her and follow her lead.
Imitate what he is doing.
Get close (but not too close); make sure it’s easy for her to see what you are doing.
Be animated! Children are drawn to excitement, warmth, humor, and joy. Exaggerated facial expressions help too.
WAIT for the child’s response to your actions, so you can tell if what you are doing is fun and interesting – or not. It may be as subtle as a glance or a smile.
Enjoy a joke; do something unexpected.
Do physical activities – roughhouse, bounce, spin, run, throw, hide, fall onto pillows… you are the best toy!
Connect to interests; provide activities, outings, toys, books or pictures that expand on what your child already likes.
Demonstrate familiar or new ways to interact and invite your child to join in.
Don’t give up! Be persistent.

When You’re Succeeding, You Will See…

your child responding to simple overtures and showing curiosity and interest
your child will happily or willingly staying engaged with trusted people for a period of time

DIR Capacity 2: Engaging and Relating

Strategies

Further Reading