Your child has just been diagnosed with autism. What does that mean?

As parents who have walked the road awhile, here are some things we wish we could have known at the beginning:

---

Your child is amazing.

Your child loves you. Even if they don’t say it, they do. You’ll find your own unique ways to connect.

Take a breath. Process. You have time. Look for people who can listen, empathize, and who can be a role model for you.

Go easy on the internet. There are crackpots out there. Seriously, opinions about autism are strongly held and enormously diverse. 

Your child will grow and develop, like any other child. Maturity helps with self-regulation, communication and many other skills. Don’t dwell on who your child might become. Observe and enjoy who they are now.

Your child has always been autistic. That’s who they are. You just didn’t know it. He’s still the same child.

Unusual-to-you behaviours are OK. They are a way of coping with the world – your child has found his own ways to cope with emotions. It’s okay to join in with your child when she does something you don’t understand.

Repeating words and phrases is actually a way of learning language. It’s a form of communication, and your child will learn to communicate more and better over time.

Special interests are great! Dive in. Help your child do what he loves – other skills will emerge. His interests will be a way to connect with other people.

Your child will likely never be “indistinguishable from their peers,” and that may be a good thing. What does that mean anyway? 

Expect growth. You and your child will set goals, and will achieve them. And there will be lovely surprises.

Look for people who see the wonderfulness of your child. They will be the ones who can celebrate every milestone with you, and who will become your community. Those are the best people to have as friends.

Finally, laugh and have fun. A good life includes finding joy in beautiful moments. Teach your child to celebrate those moments too.

May you all find hope and joy in every season and stage of your family life.

---

Further Reading

• Welcome to the Club on A Diary of a Mom
• What Is Autism on Mama Be Good